No more hope

My hubby’s perforation repair surgery has failed. Surgeon went in and found the repair was way impossible and thus gave up. 

Doctors, each of them approached us for the transfer to hospice, or home care. They would allow my hubby to eat and stop all other supports including TPN and antibiotics. 

The infection might first takes place which he will get fever and then move on.   

How could they make such a recommendation? 

No treatment is a death sentence. 

They kept explained that they won’t prescribe antibiotics or TPN for life Long as this is not a standard procedure to do. It won’t help. 

I told them we want the stability as of last few weeks. That was the best time that my hubby had ever since his condition deteriorated. No vomiting, no diarrhea, no heartburn, no fever, can drink, can move around, play games, joking & chatting with friends and go home for few hours. 

Why would we want to stop it? 

The only difference is staying hospital. Going hospice will be same as hospital then why would we stop the peace?

Moving on, yes we are. We are resting for the surgical wound to recover while the support continues.

We will wait until the body starts to alarm us. Be it infection or all sorts of side effect. 

The point is my hubby looks and feel better after TPN. His body recovers well and we know it. Why we must rush to saying give up for the body takes time to heal? 

Yes we left not much time but why rush for it?

Yes it might not heal and so to give up? No chance doesn’t mean no miracle. 

My hubby had better spirit and motivates to have some good time still with kids da and friends. The few hours is what we need. 

We are having lots of good chatting time at hospital. Between us and those who visited him. 

Doctors, could you please think out of the box? Unprecedented doesn’t mean it won’t work. Not standard procedure doesn’t mean it won’t help. 

If my hubby is in great pain and wanted to give up, we will follow his will. But he is resting well and having good time enjoying the “recovery” process, why must we rush? 

Our last hope of their’s no hope will be condition under control and the perforation healed somehow. He can have this stability for a period of time. 

Can we? 

I cried breathlessly, I could not sleep but I pray for the miracle, still.

Where is my faith? 


3 thoughts on “No more hope

  1. I am so sorry to hear your news. In this country hospice facilities are more like a hotel than a hospital. They do anything to make the patient comfortable so that he can maximize the quality of remaining life. They accommodate family and friends, even pets. However they cannot do any procedures to stop the progress of disease. You may want to investigate the hospice facility yourself, it may be the best option for your family.

    Peace and love to you.


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