From the start of my hubby cancer fighting day, our emotions has been roller-coastering for ups n down and  good & bad one. And the grey one too.

A moment I felt hope and cheer, the next moment I collapsed with sorrow, negativity like losing him and facing death.

For the past 2mths, I buried myself with non stop activities for juicing, herbs brewing, cooking, housework and reading (books & online).

We shared our fear, our hope, our future, our kids and our families. In tears, many times. We love each other very much. I had no idea why we fallen into this situation.

Vulnerability, that I read from a 10years survivor with stage 4 appendix cancer, cancer has made us vulnerable.. Even in her 10years NED, she is leading a normal and fulfilling life, and yet she feels the vulnerability at times.

Vulnerability – I think it is a reminder to us, to live our life to the fullest. No regrets, and cherish our every moment.

We will be meeting our oncologist Apr 13, for the follow up and blood test. We prayed to Buddha and hope a smooth progress. We want to discuss with her for the stoma reversal procedure.

I have been visualized the CEA dropped to 2.0, CA19-9 at 20 and CA125 at 7-8. No need scan, haha! Who knows? Let’s see.




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